A Word that Becomes Meaningless

I really don't know what happened today, feeling so lost, so empty inside.
One Word that used to be meaningful, one Word that used to end every conflict,
has become totally meaningless,
and the One using it does not afraid to show the world about that.

I know I was wrong. I should have let bygone be bygone since yesterday.
Now I feel like my heart is made of dirt: so dry, so fragile it could turn into dust in any second.

Now I know what I said has no meaning.
Now I know the message I sent was worthless to keep, even in the inbox.
What am I supposed to do now, when it is obvious that everything I do to fix the problems was nothing but an annoyance.
I do not know what I should do any longer.
Should I have my throat slit?
Should I have my wrist cut?
No, being in this situation is already death for me.

I'm confused and puzzled how it came this far,
when it was only a tiny thing we could manage in the first place.
But yes, with that Word became meaningless,
what else should I expect?

I have said everything I wanted to say already,
yet I cannot see anything back to where it used to be.
I gave my reasons about why I spoke with such a tone, and that was because I 'was' spoken to with such a tone first.
That was it all about.
That was it really all about.

Anybody, tell me, why would someone want to make a mocking noise with no intention?,
and why that mocking noise when I tried to say that Word: Sorry?
Should I feel good about that? Should I abandon the terrible feeling that was about to explode?

Maybe it is best for me to step back and consider myself..